Temporary Home

My plane landed in San Francisco on July 10th. I was returning to my life in the Bay – family, friends, job, Taco Bell (!!). Four months of reality and a re-stocking of travel funds before heading off onto the second leg of my journey. Oh, reality. You are a cruel teacher, indeed. 

I struggled a lot during those months at home. I felt confused and stuck. Lost. Very lost. The peace that I had found while traveling was gone. At times, I thought, “Was this really my life before? How did I ever make this work?” 

This summer was like watching my life from a distance. As if my former life was a zoo and I was just visiting, separated from it by glass panels. So much was familiar – living in my childhood home, same job, back with my family and friends. But so much was different – my best friend still in our old apartment but with new roommates, new work clients, no longer living in San Francisco, knowing I would be leaving again. I just did not fit in my life anymore. It was hard and difficult and isolating.

And in that struggle and isolation, I slowly began to perceive my former life for what it was; all the beauty and all the pitfalls. Day by day, I appreciated the sweetness of HOME – the daily hugs from my parents, lounging with my pup, my own bed, the smell of jasmine in the summer evenings, reconnecting with those who truly know me, the familiarity of the streets I walked.

But those five months of travel taught me lessons and altered my priorities. As tough as this summer was, it was vital. Home highlighted the changes I need to make upon my next return. It highlighted questions that I need to seriously consider during the second leg of my journey.

Now, do not let me mislead you. My time at home was filled with so much love and joy and happiness. My cup runneth over tenfold and I savored every moment as much as I could. But the States were a temporary pit stop before returning to the road. It was wearing to enjoy the comforts of home while knowing I would soon be without them. Every morning, my bed would mock me, “Yeah, you slept well last night but do not enjoy it too much. You will be spending the next 10 months in hostel dormitory beds. Remember how awesome that was?” I was never able to settle back into my home life and my mind remained on the journey ahead.  

And so in early October, I bade farewell to my home and my job and my people. Grateful for my summer of comforts and struggles. Ready to challenge myself in new ways and begin tackling the questions bumping around in my head. The journey continues on and back to the road I go!